Character Quality - Self-Control - from A Book in Time

Published on 28 December 2022 at 08:08

Be Controlled


49 - Self-Control

Self-control is the ability to remain calm and unwavering for a moral cause or belief, despite a challenging dilemma or tempting alternative. It is having the strength to make the right choice for your well-being and those you oversee rather than an extravagant or alluring option. When you exhibit self-control, you are obedient to the promptings of your conscience. You show integrity by abiding by your own standards and values, notwithstanding temptations or easy outlets that enthrall you. As opposed to self-indulgence, you rely on necessity rather than luxury when controlled. You aren’t exorbitant in your requests or portions and focus on simplicity and practicality rather than extremes or even wastefulness. Be self-controlled in your actions as well. Control should be patiently practiced in all aspects of your life. As a leader, exhibit a calm and simplistic example while being practical and resourceful. Avoid extremes as it pertains to unnecessary aspects. Remain thoughtful, insightful, and aware, and consider the input from others in decision-making opportunities where appropriate.


Characteristics of Self-Control:

  • Willpower.  Self-control takes willpower to control your actions, impulses, or even emotions. You have restraint and the ability to think before you act. Rather than self-indulge, you have the discipline to decide what is in your best interest and refrain from knee-jerk reactions or excessive behavior. You are rational and make appropriate choices.
  • Calmness.  Calmness is a favorable benefit of being in control of yourself. When your emotions are regulated with no dramatic spikes up or down, you are able to be in a more relaxed and calmer frame of mind. You are free from outbursts, emotional distress, or other unwanted disturbances. Your mind is open, and your spirit is gentle and untroubled.
  • Confidence.  With the ability to exhibit self-control, you are confident and secure. You show great faith in yourself and your abilities and have no doubts regarding your actions. Your mind is free of insecurities, and you are able to assess a situation and come to a reasonable solution on how to respond or interact. You display a high degree of self-esteem and responsibility and are intentional in your orders.
  • Determination Self-control involves a deliberate determination to make healthy, favorable, safe choices and protect those associated with you, whether business cohorts or family. There is an unwavering adherence to whatever the issue is, including persistence and resolve.
  • Courage.  It takes courage to adhere to a certain standard or decision. Perhaps it may involve self-sacrifice of something enticing, such as passing up a divine piece of chocolate fudge cake or deciding to stay home and prepare rather than stay out late on the night before a big presentation. Hopefully, you align yourself with like-minded people who will favorably affect unwanted temptation or other devices that go against your belief system or sense of responsibility.
  • Strength.  Inner strength is an important element in self-control. You have the ability to withstand stress, adversity, or even criticism with inner confidence, knowing you are making choices that favorably affect your body, mind, and soul. You can trust in your own ability to be strong, stable, and reliable based on a solid foundation you have nurtured.
  • Self-awareness.  Self-awareness is a part of self-control, as you must be in tune with your own character to fully understand how to control it. You are consciously alert to your needs and desires and understand a healthy balance. Awareness may be reached through prayer or meditation to help focus on clearing your thoughts and becoming mindfully aware of the present moment and the best interests of your current state of being.
  • Discipline With self-control, you must be disciplined to be able to show restraint. You are able to be aware of your feelings, emotions and have control of your impulses. You suppress what is not supportive or empowering and are patient and reserved until the right time, or things are properly aligned.
  • Motivation.  It takes motivation to have a reason for self-control. Are you driven spiritually or at least by your moral code or standard?  Perhaps it is about food, and you are motivated to prepare for a vacation, or there is a certain clothing size you would like to acquire. Or maybe it would be easier to do all the work yourself on a project so it is completed exactly as you would like, yet it is supposed to be a group effort.  Is there an ethical dilemma, yet you feel promptings from the Holy Spirit? Whatever the case may be, there is always a motivation to encourage the practice of self-control. Discover what motivates you and listen to spiritual guidance.
  • Integrity.  It takes a deep loyalty to your belief system to remain faithful and pursue self-control. Because it is not always easy to show restraint, great strength is shown as you do. There is a devotion to doing what is right and in the best interest of you and those you oversee. Self-control displays a truthfulness to yourself and a healthy concern to act in favorable support of your well-being.
  • Firmness.  Self-control involves an unwavering stance and adherence to a cause. You are decisive, determined, and intentional. You are able to withstand turbulence and remain controlled yet gentle.
  • Patience.  A great amount of patience is needed for self-control. It is often difficult to sacrifice or abstain from something, especially when it is so appealing. It takes great character and tolerance to endure and remain calm and complacent despite temptations. Remain obedient to yourself and your standards, focus on strengthening control over yourself, and even encourage or affirm your own positive progress. Be gentle with your setbacks and reaffirm your successes.
  • Temptation.  Self-control is often developed as a result of a temptation. There are temptations everywhere in your life, professionally, personally, and spiritually. A deliberate sense of self-control is needed to show power over these seductive delights. Since there will always be temptations, you must always be intentional about developing the strength of your self-control. There will always be inhibitions to contend with.
  • Tenacity.  As mentioned above, since temptation is everywhere, there is a need for a tenacious spirit. You must be persistent in developing self-control and willing to persist despite difficulties.


Self-control is strength. Right thought is mastery. Calmness is power.” 

Kazi Shams


The main factor behind success is self-control.” 

Rig Veda


Control yourself or someone else will control you.” 



Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings, and emotions.” 



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